new life

Once I laid eyes on my newborn daughter, something profound happened inside of me. It was something I’d heard about by others who described parenthood in the months leading up to her birth.

It came so sudden and yet I understood it when it hit me. My life had suddenly become a shell around a small, blossoming baby.

There are few moments in life that can shift your whole sense of being like having a child. You go from sensing and understanding your world to seeing that same world through two sets of eyes.

You feel all of the possibilities in a child’s life. What are they capable of? What can they become? Who will they decide to be? What is the first day of kindergarten going to be like? Soccer, dance, science projects, driving lessons, prom and boyfriends. It all merges with what was a solitary vision. It’s like your life starts over but through someone else. You now live two parallel lives.

But it’s still their life. My daughter will make her own decisions and take to prom whoever she wants. There are definitely things I am  looking forward to and things that I fear— all because I cannot make her choices for her.

All of that, choices, growing up, life, it’s a lot to absorb in one glance of your daughter’s eyes.

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